Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
