32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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