These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
