So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
