Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
