you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
