All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You may now shotgun with the bride
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
