the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
