YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
