you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize