Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
