its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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