I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
