I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
