I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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