On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
