Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just had sex on a roof
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
