I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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