what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize