He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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