so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she peed on how many people?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
