I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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