His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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