when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
