Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
