did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
