my sisters under your porch take her home
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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