3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
