A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
