The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
