isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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