All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
