Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
