All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
