It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
