Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
