I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
