So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
