look no pants
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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