those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Bring me that man meat
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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