Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
