Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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