did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize