I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
