The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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