Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize