So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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