we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
