I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize