I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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