i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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