the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
