i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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