I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
