I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
