people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize