oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize